Through my eyes....

Time to be honest...

2009-09-06T15:36:00.004+01:00

This last year... well three years have been crazy for me. Made some decisions that have moulded me into what you see now, rightly or wrongly, but I suppose it was and is my destiny.

Death is a serious thing and yet it happens to so many every single day. The affects of losing a loved one cannot be described, you only know when you are there yourself. It changes you and relationships around you. When you see the people that could not be there for you in that hard period, that relationship changes and there is nothing that you can do about it. It doesn't seem to matter that they had a valid excuse or reason as a text costs nothing these days, they come with your price plan and you even get free ones online. My relationships have suffered but only those they proved not to be there. The friendships that have been there have been strengthened and even if it was 'just a text' to say hope all is well and you are in my thoughts those encouraging words were more powerful than you realise and helped me to stay focussed.

In all this God has fed my spirit and kept me involved and working on my passions and my destiny... My path is fulfilled before I have even reached it. Time is just a big 'present' to the ONE who lives outside of time and space so all that has happened, is gonna happen and is happening right now... has already been fulfilled.

I am sure of my happiness and peace and NOTHING will be able to take that away. I will and have come through situations that would make you think it's not gonna happen for me, but I have the faith in knowing if I really want it... it's mine.

Not long ago I wrote a list of I AM... speaking about what I see even if the physical has not manifested in my current time of living and I still stand true to that now.

I AM... all that I want to be and everything that I see...

The mind is so powerful that even if you are 'not well' or imagine voices if you believe it.. it just simply is. No one can tell you any different and that is powerful and also very dangerous is not understood. You can believe in riches and you cause it be by inheritance from the death of a loved one. You can beleive for a partner that gives you everything you need and appears in a person that has to leave a wife and children to be with you. I am learning to be specific...as this power/faith/belief has got me into situations that have caused others pain and this is not my intention.

People will encourage and give advice, good and bad, and you decide if it is for you. How do I do that? Real simple listen to my spirit it's always on point, for some it's God whispering for others it's your gut, but the universe does and always sends messages through people, situations and through your spirit.

There's this email about people being in your life for a reason and season and a lifetime. Even if friends and relationships have been distant or non-existent I have learned something from everyone, it's mind blowing. I am eternally grateful for all that has been shown to me and all that is to come.

I am no longer focussed on people walking in and out of my life as I have an eternal friend that exists within me. That eternal friend has got me when no one else has, this friend has learned to forgive me, has learned to love me, has learned to understand my beauty internally and out, has learned to accept my faults and knows that it is just the way I am at the moment... but that does not mean forever. This friend has faith in me even when my mind sometimes doubts. This friend comforts me in my times of need, keeps me humble with encouraging and supporting words.

To be honest my friend in me connects with you... every time I take in air and breathe out time... my energy feeds you, my words connects with your feelings... I don't intend to hurt but to free you with my honesty. Sometimes it takes time for reality to catch up with the spirit but it really does get there in the end.

In my honesty and my journey I have made some decisions rightly or wrongly but don't ever regret them... this is my destiny and my path... regardless of the decisions I make it will not be taken from me... If it's meant to be this that is exactly what is...

IT WILL BE!!!

YOU WILL BE!!!

There is nothing that can change that... you can fight it... you can even delay it (maybe to the next lifetime who knows) but that LOVE just is

LOVE JUST IS!!!! and when you become ONE with knowing that you find peace, when you become ONE with what just 'IS' you find true fulfilment.

Love is to me not just in an emotion for another person but also for life, lessons we learn, good times we enjoy, EVERYTHING that allows you to exist and function.

Heartache and loss is a part of life, I am still grieving but more rejoicing now and thankful for the gift my grandmother gave me and that still lives on in me.

I am making my own destiny... the one that is already written in my heart, spirit and soul. My heart aches for those who are born into murder, rape, starvation and war, who lives are at risk on a daily basis by violence, drugs and abuse, and yet even in there terror they cry out to the ONE who they believe can give rescue and hope, maybe even in death, perhaps there reward is in the next lifetime and those that afflict and cause harm, there penalty is also in their next existence.

This is my honesty... at this point in my life... I'm calling all those who want to be part of my journey and I yours to be honest and just let it known. I have all the time in the world to embrace real connections but not time at all to waste on false soul/friendship/hater ties... so if your with me then just make a decision to join and if you join with bad intentions I feel sorry for you as Karma is a bitch and my middle name, so I don't worry.... I just focus on being happy.

BLESSINGS

KS x

PS... Don't be scared... you know who you are and I believe that you will get to read this at some point. I am a true friend and I have nothing but LOVE for you and it does not come with terms and conditions x

1. I am happiness
2. I am success
3. I am healthy
4. I am full of positive energy
5. I am an awesome songwriter
6. I am a loving and caring mother
7. I am a daughter to be proud of
8. I am the friend that forgives and comforts you in time of need
9. I am strength
10. I am the person that moves away from soul draining
11. I am the one who detachs herself from anything that kills the spirit
12. I am knowledge
13. I am wisdom
14. I am wealthy
15. I am the wife that is married to the man that deserves nothing but the best
16. I am beauty
17. I am LOVE
18. I am sensual
19. I am comfort
20. I am worthy

Stop the moaning... KMT!!!!

2009-07-06T19:00:00.003+01:00

Always so grateful and thankful for all life's experience's. Life is too precious so much madness sometimes your born into a place of destruction... not being able to even think and make choices dead from before u can even talk... madnesss and then I hear people complain about their lives... madness. I know that when u feel pain its def real to you.. were all human and feel pain.. happiness and things of such matter... and def need to talk it through with a good friend hopefully till u start to feel better about the situation but at least we can make decisions to hopefully make things a little easier.

KS x

Well the cats are behaving so the charity shop is safe for now...

2009-04-28T14:56:00.006+01:00

My motto is new and states an element of golden future, not just because the future is bright but golden is the colour of gold lol... meaning Imma bout to step into the circle of 'I am financially wealthy' Bold statement I hear but we go through life with dreams that esteem to being 'comfortable' 'as long as I am comfortable then I am good' some people and myself say but doesn't that equate to being financially secure?

I for one am tired of bills.. they get on my blasted nerves... so I've been expecting cheques and my new thing.. got a big ole ass list... is to watch my 'Success' video... I am gonna try and attach it in here... as it puts me in the right frame of mind, thanks for that Keiron. I swear after watching it things got better not because of the magic video lol but because it got me thinking and believing that it could be me... in reality... I love how the mind works... you pretty much think it and it happens.

I am absolutely amazed by the love and support special people in my life has shown me... we all have our lives and that makes it so much more amazing... words cannot describe how bloody grateful I am... seriously you guys know who you are you're a big massive 'fruit pastille' (my favourite sweetie)in the packet...lol.. seriously ur great and I love you for that....

I aint hating on the 'friends' that haven't been there for me... we all get caught up living life and know that when u need me I will always be there for you... but one thing I don't do is fuckeries... oops hmmmm that's the only way I can describe it cause it proper makes me feel sick... and I don't so sickness... I don't do arguments... I don't do foolishness.. I don't do self righteousness... I don't do two faced (take from you but cuss behind your back)... like I said in TUT TUT.. karma is a bitch and I wont deal with you I will just let life handle you as somethings are done in ignorance and I can't tell the difference but GOD (UNIVERSE) can.

Right now I am getting ready and learning songs for this band... So right now I am about to take a break and cook dinner... mustn't forget I am a mummy and I need to get little man something to eat... to be precise macaroni and cheese (west indian stylee) and roast chicken and yes, love them to bits but not my favourite food in the whole wide world, mushrooms fried in olive oil, garlic, sea salt and butter and then sauteed.. I think that's how u spell it.. anyways I got a special pan for it, hehe.

Next week is a big week for me... I got specials things happening... So agree with me when I say Kyra Simone's future is golden and bright and full of fulfilled promises.

MWAAAAHHH to all my sexy people...

KS x

PS. Question if you dream of kissing a girl... does that mean you're a lesbian? and have straight men ever dreamed sexually in reference to another man... just curious ;) xxxx

CLICK HERE FOR ME

I feel the light...

2009-03-20T00:13:00.002Z

What's the difference between seeing something and feeling something... It's like seeing your baby growing inside of you but when u feel that kick and turn and when that baby arrives wow, being able to physically feel something its such a special something... feeling that special thing, someone or circumstances... and yeah it's good to feel pain, as long as it don't consume you, you need that as a warning for your health, your spiritual sensing and your sanity or how would you know something just aint right.

Hmmmm I am tired... and I got distracted back another time..lol

KS x

TUT TUT

2009-03-12T21:04:00.002Z

Well I didn't know what to call it... but that def seems to be my motto right now... wot is going on in the world... one minute people are showing love and the next there is confusion and madness and no rasss love...

People (friends on FB) have been expressing their feelings and feel that it's them against the world. Some have said 'Rely on no one' or 'Everyone lets you down'. wow strong statements. But then why do we continue to put trust in people, who quite frankly sometimes don't deserve it, to be let down time and time again. Is there anyone out there that can say they have a friend that has been there for them and is there anyone you can say you have wholeheartedly been there for them too. Maybe it's impossible... that the best friend may 'slip' and let you down and not even realise it perhaps.

I love the idea of trusting people but it's not like the movies and selfishness seems to be fashionable right now... My gran once told me that you have to put yourself first because if you're not well you can't help anyone. It seems that this 'selfish fashion' has been advertising hard and confusing selfish with self preservation so that you can enhance you and others. And I would like to add being a good person doesn't require boasting.. it definitely should be rewarded... but what happened to actions are louder than words? Do I detect that some maybe thinking good deeds shouldn't be rewarded!!!! Well we all believe you reap what you sow so why if you sow goodness should you be rewarded with nothing? If you plant on good soil and you look after your crop, water the plants and treat them in the way they should be treated you will be rewarded with great wheat or fruits or nuts or whatever it is you're looking after. So I am thankful of this law, why should anything we do be in vain? And PRAISE GOD!! when someone does you wrong (with hate and no remorse, bile in the pit of their stomach and spitting and vomiting in your face) should they also not be rewarded with some sort of punishment?

Call it Karma.. biblical law.. law of attraction... most people know that you reap what you sow. How do you feel about it? Does life teach you that there is this force or law that punishes you with consequence? What do you think?

KS x

Hmmmmmm.....

2009-02-23T11:22:00.003Z

I keep forgetting bout dis ting ya here... I think its been uncovered by some... I suppose in a way it's a secret but not really cause it's on the internet... My exercise today for motivation is making statements of what I understand myself to be..

I AM is the most powerful way to acknowledge what it is you are even if the physical doesnt represent that right now.. remember the life and the life others live before and after are a big sense of current exisitng.. i.e a big 'present' 'current' time is man's way of measuring things... so if thats the case then wotever we think we will become in 'time' has already happened :).. so here it is

1. I am happiness
2. I am success
3. I am healthy
4. I am full of positive energy
5. I am an awesome songwriter
6. I am a loving and caring mother
7. I am a daughter to be proud of
8. I am the friend that forgives and comforts you in time of need
9. I am strength
10. I am the person that moves away from soul draining
11. I am the one who detachs herself from anything that kills the spirit
12. I am knowledge
13. I am wisdom
14. I am wealthy
15. I am the wife that is married to the man that deserves nothing but the best
16. I am beauty
17. I am LOVE
18. I am sensual
19. I am comfort
20. I am worthy

Ok that's it for now... hey if you fimd this comment and maybe you can inspire me with your 'I AM' statements.

That's it for now

Still wrestling with them damn cats lol... but hey working 'I AM' not gonna piss in the hse statements with them.

Bless

KS x

Been a While init!!!!

2009-01-15T13:32:00.002Z

Well my back is killing me.. had a small car accident nuttin big.. some schooopid eddiaattt drove into the back of me whilst I was stationary... I dunno man some people... Being in the internet cafe dont help me either!!!! its causing more aching...

jus needed to offload here again... things are nice for a change but not great!!!! I suppose with change comes adjustments and sometimes old habits are hard to break.. but one thing I do know is that bad habits are no good and I know what I want so it's all about staying focussed... and that I am indeedy.

It's my birthday on the 21st wohoooo!!! It's my chance to catch up with old friends and have a little chin wag over dinner... some of them its been so long they dont even know my gran has passed away... wow... funny how life can keep you busy but still you have different friends for different reasons and sometimes you dont get to see them as much but it doesnt mean you dont care about them.

Right MEN... pay attention if you read this... please my focus right now is my music not looking for relationship, husband, sex ting, nuttin jus a best friend that could posssibly lead to summit else but pls dont crowd me I dont do well when I feel pressured also dont ignore me either lol... I get easily distracted if you show no emtotion what so ever. But I did say to Graeme that I would focus more as I noticed that when I get invovled or dating I give alot and then I can become emotionally exhausted.. not no more... unless u add to mine and me to u... its not gonna happen... so please bear that in mind..... I still feel like I haven't quite explained myself... and plus no one really knows about this so I guess I am putting this out to the universe... If your my Clyde... let me know... but I am old fashioned so I guess what I am saying is things have to move slow... but not dont be long!!! hehehehe I love being a woman.

My dreams are getting too much... I dreamt someone was drinking my blood it was my dad then it changed and my brother tried to keep the door unlocked but it wasnt until I woke up that I realised that cause I remember him faffing about with the lock from the outside and I was like why is he unlocking the door... was a madness.. u could say I have been watching too much charmed lol... but I have been having those kinda dreams lately... and they have gotten more intense since that record label contacted me... maybe change is happening right now.. hmmmmmmm.... well the package is gone so let's see what NY is saying. Ok BRB I am gonna look it up.

ok 1. To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood, signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends. Your past actions has come back to haunt you. Women often dream of blood or of someone bleeding, shortly before or during their periods or while they are pregnant.

To dream that others are bleeding, signifies an emotional cry for help.

2. blood - A sign of life. Killing scene with blood: Enforces the notion that something is ended or finished.

3. Vampire
To see a vampire in your dream, symbolizes seduction and sensuality, as well as fear and death. The vampire represents contrasting images of civilized nobility and aggression/ferocity. It may depict someone in your waking life whose charm may ultimately prove harmful. Deep down inside you know that this person is bad for you, yet you are still drawn to it. Vampires also sometimes relate to decisions about sex and losing your virginity. Alternatively, to see a vampire suggests that you are feeling physically or emotionally drained. The vampire may also be symbolic for someone who is addicted to drugs or someone in an obsessive relationship.

To dream that you are a vampire, signifies that you are sucking in the life energy of others for your own selfish benefit. (WELL I WASNT THE VAMPIRE I WAS THE VICTIM AND THERE WERE TWO ONE WAS A WOMAN SUCKING BLOOD FROM MY WRIST AND THE MAN WAS SUCKING BLOOD FROM MY NECK ERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! THERE WERE PEOPLE I TRUSTED I.E. MY DAD BUT THEN IT TURNED IT SOMEONE ELSE DIDNT RECOGNISE THEM Madness!!!!! If you're reading this what do you think? ;)

Anyways... Hopefully I will be back very soon with good news all round.. hahaha and also I have written some more poetry... the flow jus keeps coming... sometimes when I read back what I have written I am frightened at how awesome it is and think SHIT!!!! can I top that one.. I guess it's about thoughts and expressions not just about wording and because I write from the heart not trying to mimick or be anyone else I will always write in that style.

Well My time in the internet is nearly finished... miss ya MR CLYDE!!!!

Love Bonnie

XX

Bloody Hell!!!

2008-12-14T12:48:00.002Z

Talk about a long week.. month.. its been so long I dont even know how long mad stuff has been happening to me for. Just this week my brother got sent down for 4 years... madness cant tek that one and my good ole granddad told my dad he wants nothing to do with us.. wotever init!!!! we are good people if he dont want that then that is exactly what he is going to get.. I can waste my time with foolishness I have a son and that right now is the most important thing to me... and plus he is so sensitive so all the foolishness I am not even going to entertain.

Secondly I am tired of telling them rassssclaarrttss cats to stop trying to eat Pudding (the hamster).... it proper upsetting my spirit.. I hate having to repeat myself... they bloody know I know they do KMT!!!!

Right I got a radio interview today with playvybes whohooo!!! yeah well tryin to be excited about it.. probably will a little later... its great though seriously blessed on that for real... having the opportunity to be interviewed!!! YAY!!!!!!

Madnessss MADNESSS!!!!!! I sold my car friday last week and Praise God cause I needed the money but the first person that came to see the car... got in it and then drove it into a walll eeedddiiiaaatttt!!!!! so he had to buy the car... wot I was not ready for was the fact that he had no money to pay for it... (dont get too upset It's all sorted now) then now he started texting me how he likes me and wants to get with me.... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO Noooooooooooooooooooooooo ... bwoiii some strange folk in this world.. especially as I told him I am with someone and he says it don't matter... wtf is the world coming too... aint no one ever heard of TRUST!!!! RESPECT!!!! S bloodcart Pissing TD's some of them pussy clart tings can kill yuh!!!!! KMT!!!! I dunno man.... some bloody people.

Don't let me start about music industry people... tired tired tired tired tired tired of it!!!! Imagine I went to a corporate do where all I had to do was present the awards to the presenter and that was it and I got paid money (good amount too) .... I Just don't get it... if I was to perform at these gigs... I can walk away with alot of money.... this is not a flippin hobby and it aint alrite for me to have a full-time 'normal' job while I work for free as a singer... it takes the pisssss!!!! I am not a new comer or born jus yesterday... kmt!!!!!!! change is gonna come.. truss me.... aint about being talented and poor its about building a future for my son and family so that we can be financially secure and blessed in every way.

well I think I got everything off my chest!!!!! yes well mostly everything... jus one more thing

I love my friends and it's a cliche but you really see who you're friends are not those people who claim to be your friend and then run out on you cause they dont get want they want from you.... MEN AND WOMAN!!! MEN TEND TO WANT SEX/RELATIONSHIP and when that dont happen they piss off... that aint no bluudclarrt friend and women are full of shit!! only calling you when they thing summit is happening.... But truss me people I know who is full of shit and who isn't.... and those that are not I am so glad for them and appreciate them BIGTIME!!!!!!! I want list them cause I is bound to leave someone out lol and that might cause me some problems... but they wont have a doubt it their head that I am talking about them.

Bless and kisses to you.... big massive kiss to YOU!!!!! (notice that is not plural)

Hehe

LOVE

Miss Kyra Simone

Floating....

2008-11-27T13:10:00.002Z

Shit !! dodoo shit dodoo!!! ahhhh focus man!!!! LOL... I feel like I am just drifting along on a cloud... again I am so in this little bubble of mine.. haha.. ok after this today gonna get nuff tings done... got some serious money chasing outstanding business to take care of.... and It really aint about letting nothing slide...

So many meetings.. I can't keep up... so many open doors... praise God!!!! Jus so so so so so many new adventures... I can't wait... it's so bloody hard keeping up with it all as in... it's difficult enjoyin it cause I dont have time lol.. but it's all good though.

Made some serious decisions about where my life is going and it's like a leap of faith not blind though don't get it twisted... it's not about being blind... slowly but surely I can see so much clearer now the SHIT has gone... gonna go to a gig on Friday and do some singing... wohoo can't wait!!!! People will bless you if you bless yourself indeedy yes!!!!! and you will get blessed even more when u bless others... so never mek any1 tun u bitter!!!1 It's ugly and it will not help you further yourself in life and find fulfillment and enjoyment!!! lol....

ohh wot time is it hmmm 1317 ok.. haven't been to the gym in like three weeks.. wots that all about.. gonna make the effort on saturday to go... work out that body baby!!!! been told it's alrite though hehe... hmmm love hmmmmmmmmm lovely hmmmmmmmm hehehe.. wow... talk about getting under your skin.. oooooh gonna write a poem about that

BRB

KS x

U know when you spend your entire day thinking.....

2008-11-24T17:51:00.002Z

Wow... I've been thinking so hard today it's so hard to concentrate on other things.. so yes I am here again.. maybe if I come here and type I might be able to get on with my day....

Funnily enough my gran came to see me in a dream.. she was loving and said she was visiting but couldnt stay but would be back... sigh... I wanna her back soo much...

Well what have I been thinking about today.. well one I can talk about the other I am still working out...haha yep mysteries... but one thing I know I am in control... I control my destiny so I guess it's time to stop thinking about things and start doing...which I am but not at the same time... ahhh KMT responsibility sucks!!!!

Let's go more positive.. yeah my son .. love him to bits.. it must be crazy for him sometimes.. mummy is always working even when at home.. but at least we get to go cinema and restaurants.. that's our time and we watch movies at home together... so that's nice.. he knows I dont like to repeat myself we have a wonderful understanding...

so I need a break... just a few days away somewhere where no one can find me (or hopefully us hehe)... had a dream about this situation... it's weird cause my heart says yes.. my head says yes... my dreams say yes but still I am apprehensive... I know the reason why and it's valid on one point but on the other point it's not valid... puzzles but I am not gonna make any moves just yet... time will prove how 'real' this is.. or maybe will become... just keep it nice and tidy no drama... cause I can't tek drama.. no noise pollution... no eeedddddioooottssssssss. M.O.E baby. plus some people are rassclart crazy... upsetting my spirit with their uckeries.... I just wanna punch them in their nose bridge... kmrft!!!!!!

Anyways positivity positivity... biggup to PUggy Bear.. real cool guy and great to talk to...

I nearly bruk my hands today... I went shopping in Catford, and yet again, went in for a few bits and pieces and came out with a whole leap more and then walked all the way back to my house.. not gonna say where it is.. stalkers and shit... but it's a good long walk... had to rest up like three times.. cause I couldn't feel my hands KMT!!! It's too cold... too cold.... grrrrrrrrr!!!!!

This week is a week of doing.. so gonna get things done... I am tired or waiting for illustration for the book so I am gonna do it without it's so long... I am gonna publish it real soon... just need to research things a bit more... like agents... oooh yeah must talk to management about a web link someone gave me hahahah how weird he literally just messaged me on msn as I am writing this.... BRB

KS x

Not again....

2008-11-19T12:26:00.002Z

Imagine I had two crazy dreams last night or early this morning whichever way it came... and wake to find that phone ringing... it's my mum... she is in hospital...chest pains and stuff.... Pray that all is good with her cause her health is so important.. she's just started living again and she has to be well... just has to...

So I am waiting here for the news as to what my mum's test results are gonna be... So let me explain my dream... the first one concerned a close friend of mine... I dreamt that my cat was crying at the door and my friend had turned up without prior notice hehe and so when finally my cat was let in as my hs mate had come home she still continued to cry.. and when I looked at her... she had been seriously injured her limb was hanging... her ear had been cut off and her eyes were mashed up and I started crying and my friend started to comfort me.. anyways thats long and the other dream is for me alone...

To change the subject slightly.... remember I said I had my eyebrows done the other day... well its gettin quite disturbing for me now as everytime I look in the mirror I look surprised... wtf!!!!! this is not the one... kmt!!!

Well off to do hse stuff today is my day of music rest... well kinda and that nasty tea is sitting there waiting for me to drink it... smells like mud man!!!! cha!!!! and I know its cold... proper upsetting my spirit!!!!

KS x

And it was quiet.....

2008-11-18T22:32:00.004Z

Today has been a briliant day... yesterday eve was fantastic the conversationg was so inspiring and it's great when people really listen and feel your the point your making is valid no disrepect jus wicked conversation!!!!

Spirituality runs through my veins... in a relationship with someone they have to see what you see or at least appreciate it... I got so much I wanna talk about... what I read about... what I dream about.... what I visualise... and I so wanna hear about what you've got to say also... so we can converse and relate.

On a different topic... getting rid of the ole banger cause my car is fixed YAY!!!!!

Had a vocal lesson today and I was the teacher... went really well... good pupil that put his all in... even in one lesson he has improved well done...

JD and coke no ice pls.. yes yes thats my favourite pub/bar drink but house drink has to be Baileys and Aldi's alternative is wicked too!!!! Favourite food... apart from my west indian culture has to be thai.. then italian... chinese is ok... and sea food is def a no no no...

I am home alone this eve.. its cool but I so need to get away for a few days to think things through... it's that decision again that keeps coming to mind... I have to choose what I want and go for it.. no more juggling and spreading myself thin (talking bout music work.. get ya mind out the gutter lol). Hmmmmmm I know what I want to do but financial, at first anyways, it's gonna be a bitch and christmas is coming up... what's a girl to do.... the decision will be made for me I just need to focus on what exactly it is I wanna achieve.

The bible is such an awesome book... I think it's time for me to pick it up again and study the wisdom that lies in its pages... not just read but bring to life the soul of the writers and merge them with mine... sounds spooky but not really.. aint talking bout waking the dead or nutting jus grasping the personalities and mind's of the writers...

still got some calls to make... then I shall retire to bed early as the chinese herb specialist said I need to sleep.. I suppose that's true

bye for now

KS x

Reflection....

2008-11-16T12:57:00.004Z

Writing these blogs are always risky as people reading can judge and form opinions on situations or use them to their advantage but it's all good.. those close ones know the real deal.

I stare at my reflection internally... it's almost like I am gazing... I am so in love with me... not what I see but what I feel... and Life can tend to come along and try to shred that to pieces... had so much bad news this week its ridiculous... Ok let's list them so I really know what I am dealing with here...

1. My grandad is back in hospital (he hasn't to us since my gran's funeral). His artery had to be cleared.
2. It's been over two months and still haven't seen my gran's death certificate (granny raised me she was like my mum and best friend)... miss her too much. Feels like no closure
3. My brother is going prison.. he's only 19
4. My other brothers have serious issues one of them my heart breaks every time I see him cause he is so messed up.
5. Ahhh thats enough now... the list just goes on and on like ariston ...

My wardrobe of people needs clearing out too... that aint always an easy job... I don't really stick it out with people if they seem to come with stress and disrespect but the good ones always stay near no matter what...

This weekend has been wonderfully weird and bizzarre... I found out what a brazillian waz was hehe and I also got my nails done and my eyebrows tidied (that was a first they are gettin some use to.. I hope they dont look too weird lol). I went cinema last night to see Max Payne... Loved it... didnt really get it completely needed to talk it through with someone who is on my mad level of spiritual thinking. Gonna buy the film when it comes out thought def!!!

Some people I know think I am slightly nuts when it comes to the spiritual side of me so I tend to hide it alot... they don't understand how I can just perceive a situation and foretell an event or circumstance as I really don't have and logical reason for my ermmm predictions or assessments... they just come to pass... I have so much power in the palm of my hands and in my thoughts that I know I can literally have all that I desire... but being wise with it is something I am learning as having all you desire will still come with consequence and and sometimes it's not a great thing. For example you want to have five cars... each car needs taking care of and if you aint got the time to take care of them all then you're gonna have five messed up cars but not one of them is gonna be in the position to work at its best for you... men and woman swap the car with partners and you will catch my drift. But lol... I love cars haha so what is the solution hmmmmm... aha lol Set your eye on that beautiful car you've always dreamed and do what it takes to get it... and in the interim stop driving around in those old bangers that use up ur money time and effort and keeps upsetting your spirit... you could save those expenses so that you will be able to afford that special 'car' hehehe xx

People recognise how powerful you are... I have seen people crumble and it's a shame cause good fam's around you help you through rough times... so now here I am with no fam's that are strong enough to carry or help me through right now... hmmmmm that's when good friends can help and always remember God is someone u can talk to and hey when all feels like it's failing you can be there for yourself... you control what YOU do ... so can make YOU does not let you down...

Gonna take a walk into catford.. I need some new dvd's... It would be nice for just one day for me to go out and no one try to hit on me.. talk to me.. demand of me... try sweet me... nutting jus leave me the fuck alone today as I wanna spend time with me and my thoughts... my reflections on life... xxxx

PS. I have added a video but for some reason when they export it to FB you can't see the video.. It's Al Green so tired of being alone... cliche I hear that line but then I am still single... not like I aint had the offers but I seem to like living in my bubble world and if anyone tries to get there I push them far away... well I believe that who ever comes close will respect my little bubble of safety.. won't trouble it but when I come out he will be there to love me and sex me hahahahaha.... I have met someone like that but it's a madness so we can be friends as that is all that can happen... unless something changes.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=B-zhPINcPpM

xxxxxx the cold is much better now xxxxxx

Sniffle Sniffle

2008-11-13T01:12:00.008Z

Today was long but great... Went to Life FM studios to announce my affiliation and support with UK Soul.org.. I can tell this is the beginning of great things... special thanks to pugwash for having me there. The journey took far too long though... going home was even worse and I could feel my cold/cough/headache and all the other annoying stuff getting worse.

Well this radio show is real hard work lol.. but I wanted to do it and so it shall be done.. thinking whether to move the interviews.. but Shanai's can def be done 2morrow and a close friend of mine told me about a way to do live call in.. chat room kinda thing.. hmm will def look into that one...

Ok I guess it's kinda obvious that I am signing to UKSOUL.ORG in what capacity well you will have to follow the blog and listen to radio interviews to get the juicy details... and my son is going to publish a book wohoooo ... I know that was quite a random change, but as it popped into my head, I thought I'd better say something... it so had to get a mention cause it's a phenomenal thing.

I can't believe how many guys contact me every single day of FB wanting to get with me without conversation and heck even though we've had small conversation why would I wanna hook with you not knowing who you are? That's CRAZY!!!! Arrr I do worry bout some men sometimes... I mean just like it can't be too easy for you to get a girl... do you think a woman like me wants a man that's easy... wotever init!!!! I aint gonna settle for that... If I can get you easy.. then some other woman will get you easy as well... that's foolishness!!! I'm not saying you have to create obstacles (cause we all have baggage and crosses some skeletons some graveyards and zombies some aliens lol) or be nasty or talk in a disrespectful tone... but u shouldn't just hand it over on a plate... kmt!!!

I have to respect a man that takes the time to get to know me and our situation... a man of his word... someone that wont force a situation or pressure me... that's an eeeeddddiottt ting dat!!!! oh and there has to be chemistry yes ssssssiiirrrrreeeeeeeee and you got to smell good too... I love that... a man with a nice scent... a scent that comes naturally hehehehe.... charisma oh yes and be able to conversate on a silly level and a deeper level too... he gotta have some kind of passion in life and go all out to achive his goals... but also know when to just chill and spend some time with himself and me.... he gotta have nice lips.. nice and full.... preferably be darker than me... hmmmm this list is just getting longer and longer.... wow I am being a typical woman.. oh no :( that's quite dis-heartening hahaha.. well if I don't have standards then I wont notice waste when I see it... I lie?... and truss I can see waste a mile away but I just play along and give them a chance cause every1 deserves the chance to prove me wrong... but I am generally right... I hate that still... Come on MEN show me that you are still capable of handling a woman like me without losing ur mind... morale... and your back bone... like a close friend of mine said who hasn't called me for ages... men need to grow some balls and step up to the plate.

I think guys are too busy tryin to show face and end up showing their ass (maybe they do that cause a lot of 'girls' take the piss)... but don't get it twisted I know not all men are like that... I know ONE that has the potential to be 'THE ONE'... my man oh yesssiireeee.. but you never know eh!!!!

Ok on a positive note I am taking steps to make my book audio... I am excited as I am having a meeting next week to put things in order actually I need to upload one more section of the book to Face BOOK and actually I am going to copy Zuriel and set up a blog here for my poetry... I think that you will enjoy reading them.. I will have to mark in over 18's though cause some of it is rather naughty and some inspiring but I will let you read and make your own opinions.... and soon I will be naming and shaming.. so have ur game right people when dealing with me or I will expose... no shame in this game.....

Peace and grapes and VIt C need sum of that bad.. stooopid ass cold

xxxx

Got you on ice baby....

2008-11-12T02:34:00.003Z

Listening to Jill Scott... not sure what to say really... nuff happening but nuff is always happening... good things.. messed up things... still got mad paperwork to do.. ahhhh I hate paperwork...

The radio show is coming along nicely though.. music front things are real exciting... but don't have time to get excited about it.. hmmmm strange feeling.. so it go init....

Kmt cant be bothered to type no more... all I got to say is one thing... love all like cook food that genuinely support me... u guys are truly a blessing.

Peace

Ks x

oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

2008-11-06T15:00:00.003Z

OOoooooh weeeeeeeeeee..... lawwwd ah mercy AL Green was sick last night... so many people in the audience and I felt like he was singing for me one... lol.... This has to be one of my favourites though... I hope the player works in here still... It was one of those weird days that is strange but exciting and the evening was a bit boring... hmmm let's not mention no names eh!!!! Small world and that... was great seeing Annona though and Jamie and Justin and Priya and Ayo and all those others that I simply cant remember haha.... hmmm there was one edddiottt!!! kmft try and touch me after you dismiss me and ran out on me kmf rassclart Teeth... ur damn right I dont like you no more!!!!! (insert after I finished writing the blog... it's not that bad I was just angry.. u alrite) Anyhows now that has passed it's all good cause nothing can upset my spirit right now... apart from those blasted cats...

You see having more than one cat you don't know who's to blame for the mess and ting... well one of them has developed a bad habit of pissing in the bathroom... ah wot kinda ting is dat!!!!! on the floor u nah on the mat tooo.. like it's the right place. Well people tell me cause I give them human names... (Alex and Sarah) that they are confused..... nah bredrin that just makes them feel part of the family... but I really can't tek this pissing in the bathroom ting... its not right and its upsetting my spirit.... and one of dem keeps scratching me in my sleep... jus wake up inna de maaarning with scratch marks kmt!!!!! and they keep trying to eat pudding... (pudding is Charlie's hamster or guinea pig I can never remember which one it is). I dunno man... dey is really being naughty lately but I still love them regardless mad innit hehe...

What about the way you love.. and the way you squeeze me.. simply beautiful.... wow lyrics are sick... ahhh lol I suppose its the way he sings it aswell.. good Al Green... got an album out this year too.. gwaan wit ya bad self.... there is always time to go for ya dreams it don't matter how old as long as you can get up and go... then you should go for it!!!!!

My concentration levels are dipping hmmmmmm ... hold on jus putting the you tube al green on again... lol... so yeah my concentration... life is too flippin complicated, or at least we make it that way... the strangest thing happened last night kept bumping into people in weird and wonderful places.. got me thinking bout things...

I am so focused on the music right now... feel myself slipping into my little world at times... I wanna invite this person in but with time we will see init.... I wonder how he'd feel if I invited him in and welcomed him to ME.. if u not wot I mean.. lol.. he might not wanna leave... well that cannot be a bad thing?? right???

Awwwwww man the imagination is crazy and so powerful like madonna said be careful what you think cause you just might get it and with it comes all the other stuff... the good.. the bad and the ulgy... but happiness is worth it right??? of course it is.. like Al green said the only way to mend a broken heart is with true love and happiness can make you do wrong but it can also make you do right... that's a big statement there... imagine you can never truly appreciate happiness with experiencing sadness... so therefore I remember my gran and what she told me... always make sure you're happy.. numero uno that's who comes first cause you can bless people with your spirit when ur happy... and even if you have to upset people on the way (not purposely) then that's the way the cookie crumbles... well lol she never said cookie crumbles but you get my drift... I MISS HER SO MUCH I FEEL PAIN AND SO ALONE.... but then I take a good look around me and see the love and I feel so blessed.

Ok been writing for far too long now... gotta go do the mum thing and do some baking and ting.. hehe chocolate chip cakes hmmmmmmm.... were gonna make em together.... love him soooo much.. I just dont understand it... can't wait to have more.. yippeeee!!!! praise God that I can have children... some can't wow we all have our issues but there is always a way out if you believe and work with the laws of this universe.

Back later xxx

KS xxx

NB. I think I am falling for you.....

So many little things to sort out...

2008-11-03T14:41:00.003Z

I'm ur suga mama... hmmm listening to Beyonce after having a go on the drums... so rassclart hungry it aint even funny but I have had summit to eat... I guess this weekend has taken a lot out of me and I am feeling a little run down. The mini bus breaking down outside of Brummy on our way back to London from North Wales was the final straw 4 me... the van was full of smoke as I believe the head gasket had gone and was filtering its way back into our space... kmt!!!! Then tried calling people cause I felt like I was losing my mind.. some answered some didn't, but then got a text from my cousin that someone we knew had died... so sad 4 real...I still can't believe it... so many people dying... May he R.I.P God bless your soul.

Jus waiting for little man to come home... taking him to get his hair done then go food shopping cause I am so rassclart hungry. I wrote a to do list last night... haven't done one thing on it yet... and I need to go the gym too cause didnt go last week and if I did I dont feel like I did... maybe I can escape this eve...

Where is my Clyde? haha ride or die hehe... tired of the games just wanna settle and fight the battle of life and love and uckeries.. together against the world and ting... I think it's about time still been single for a year and a half now prolly longer... imagine the new year coming in and no Clyde... hmmmm well I still wont settle for waste I dont care how long it takes but for the rest of the year I am make a little time for pleasure as work can take over some times but sacrifice tried that and that didnt get appreciated... so fuck you and urs that took my shit for granted... no more and no I aint talking bout one particular person but a few.

Dwele is playing no... maybe I should listen to alot more jazz soul instead of Beyonce Independant woman lol... cause I swear I can do all this shit by myself... don't need no man and all that jazz... but thats not true.. dont need no waste but a good man as in someone that loves, respects and stays at ur side no matter wot is very hard to find cause most of them are not single anymore... there are a few single ones though but sometimes they have annoying habits that are just a put off... lol.. ok it sounds like I am making excuses... but I know where I am coming from... time is always the key.. no rush just take ur time...

OK... music things are really popping for me.. I always keep things close to my chest.. so letting anything out the box just yet...just watch this space might start talking about it real soon.

ok back to relationships... just listening to Anytime Brian Mcknight... you know that has never happened to me.. if I leave an ex or they decide to pick up and leave there is a moment of sadness but then once that passes I never ever thing oh... it could have been or I miss them... maybe I aint truly loved anyone... the only time I think of them is if I see a picture or they are on my case asking me back and in my head I am thinking wot the hell for... I like my ride or die partner.. someone who wouldn't give up on me or give up trying to get with me (without annoying that is), cause if can punk out once then that means you aint really in it and why should I waste my time giving you me like that.... u can suck my asssssssss.... lmao.... ahh the joys of saying 'I don't think so.... u had ur chance and now that time has passed'. I feel sorry for people that get back with that ex cause they is scared to be by themselves... know ur worth people and stop wasting other people's time.

anyways... I have to cut this one short as it's about that time... taking Levaan to get his hair done.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON JERMAINE!!!!!

Peace, love and Grapes (grapes are good for the skin) xxx

Lost in my little world

2008-10-31T01:47:00.003Z

Wow... I live in my little bubble world of Kyra Simone... only letting my son in when he's with me and close friends are probably thinking I am losing my mind... but if you get to read this.. truss I aint losing my mind... jus living inside the little bubble of mine for now and need to just take some time out to re-charge my decision making batteries... I suppose for all my life I have acted so responsibly not wanting to hurt anyone and not wanting to be judged... and lately for the last year or so I have been a little wreckless both lives have come with ups and downs so I guess the moral of the story is always be happy about what you're doing and find some place where u can get peace when life gets a bit hectic.

I do know who my friends are though... and even though I would like to trust people 100% I can't say that I can... I think that if I was to say yes I truly trust these people that are not my family.. I would list about 4 people and considering I know quite a bit more than that.. then that's a serious ting.. but oh well such is life I suppose.

On a double gig tomorrow... stayin over... long... but grateful same way!!! Should be setting up some meetings for next week... a certain somebody suggested an audio book for my hardcopy... I think it's a good idea.. yes yes... gonna do that one... so need to focus... lots of distractions... bwoiii I need a holiday!!! Take me away my King!!! LOL or friend or whatever... let's jus go!!!! Who cares where we end up... as long we end up somewhere different where no one knows us...

Always gotta biggup my girl Charlie House... love my son like I dont know what... can't wait to have more got lots of time and plus getting the guy is kinda vital aswell... single and raising children is not the one (if you can help it).

well got paperwork to do.. as usual but its kinda late and have to be up kinda early. So I am now leaving the virtual world... oh my goodness I have just realised it's friday and I haven't even been to the gym this week... hmmm that's not good.

Oh and I Love you B... life is just different sometimes... always know I got ya back though xxx

Peace Love and Grapes

Here I am again!!!!

2008-10-25T12:45:00.003+01:00

Yesterday was a strange day all in all... had a wicked evening with miss Charlie House at the theatre... we went to see Brothers @ Hackney Empire... funny story line hmmm... and great acting well done to the cast!!!! We went for one drink of our usual JD and coke.. no ice please... got warm and left hehe...

On our way home... we stopped at Mac D's I know we sinned but... when u haven't eaten all day... it has a wonderful way of tasting real good and plus Catford Mac D's has the best tasting chips according to some of my wonderful friends.

Now I am off to another gig.. I believe it in Trebanog... where ever that is... got some things playing on my mind but it's all good stand by my heart and what I know to be true and things will work out fine.

Still waiting for my Clyde... to come and let me know he's got my back... you never know.. just never know... he might be looking me right in my face hmmmmm..... not gonna look though... he gotta come for me... that's how it's suppose to be right... hmmm anyways... I got 7 mins to mop the floor... wash... get my stuff together and leave the house.... do you think I can do it... lol.. prob not but I am gonna try....

Peace

KS x

2008-10-24T00:20:00.003+01:00

Welcome to my life... life has this funny way of presenting you with options and avenues and you have to make the correct choice and I know I am making the right ones.... feels good too... the heart is a funny thing and I know even when making friends, if you're heart is not in it, then it's gonna end up in disaster. My friends mean so much to me and I hate when they are hurting or in pain... friends are there to heal and help eachother through laughter, comfort, prayers and hugs and sometimes kisses (if you love them).

Greatest moment today was when my son saw me at his school as parents/relatives were called in to help with creative writing...he was well pleased cause not every child's parent could come in.

Then absolutely knackered (cause I went to sleep at five and was up at 0730) I came home and laid down for a min before my drum lessons. They went well actually... sometimes I felt a bit clumsy and kept mixing things up but with time I know I will get it right. Strange moments after but not really focussed on that right now.

A friend needed me today I just wanted to be there for him... sometimes it's so hard but he means alot to me, not just as someone I know and have grown close to... but it's almost like he is a part of my life and I really want him to continue with me but I know right here and right now it's not happening... but I truly appreciate his friendship regardless and no matter what will always be there for him.

So yeah music...men....money (mmm) that's what I shall call them... it's almost like all three come with complications and sacrifices (especially if it's something that has worth) something that has worth is difficult to get and never easy. KMT!!!! I am so drained right now... just need to chill out and be cool... tonight I wanna sleep with the angels and hopefully see my gran so she can hold me and tell me everything will be alright and all you desire will come to pass... I guess I just have to be ready.

KS x

I'm watching you from afar babe....

2008-10-22T13:35:00.004+01:00

LOL.. this tune is bad.. imagine this.. Sings*'I'm watching you from afar babe... the heaven's brightest star babe...wanting you is exciting'... hmmm I can def relate to that and I as I was told by a good friend of mine if its too easy then that anticipation and excitement is lost and we don't want that do we lol...

Sings again *'If only in my head and if I was hungry I take you instead' ... of course haha.. you could look at in the crude way but I see it differently as in this person has the potential to feed the very life/soul that sustains your breathing and functioning.. yeah love that.

Whispers*'you know we speak with no talk baby, your smell your walk baby'... imagine feeling someone so hard that it's done without no talk but yet you can conversate from clean across the room with just vybes and sensations... oooooohhh hahaha there smell sends u crazy and when they walk you feel like hmmmmmmm hahahaha... that's me right now... So hey my imagination feels that groove of life.... sending shivers of anticipation to my mind, spirit and also that middle section that lies between my belly button and my behind lol... ok back to reality. (But I am still putting that song on repeat regardless the tune is bad).

My dreams are nuts... I think it's too early in this electronic relationship to go there but one day I might reveal all hehe...

Well.. off to the gym.. again :( I am getting better everyday though)... this is the second time this week and it's Wednesday.

Tonight is my girl's gig and hopefully imma meet with pugwash today at at a different show so got nuff packed in... oooh someone texted me bout 20 mins ago lol gonna check that and maybe pass through later.

Bless

KS x

Proud Moment

2008-10-21T19:47:00.003+01:00

Wow.. my son did so well in Parent's evening tonight... not one complaint and his face when he realised that all his hard work is paying off was a treat!!! He told me that he felt nervous (after the appointment) but that he was really pleased with what he heard.

I know everything is going to be more than alright and when discussed, with a friend of mine, how well he is doing and there are no complaints he mentioned it was because he has a good mum.... that felt good... I have a exceptional son who is not perfect but his heart is in everything he does and I will do my best to keep it that way and instill in him the tools he needs to deal with people that are not like that.

I'm really excited about the movements I am making but still with a calm and stilling approach... most people would never stop talking bout it or get really anxious but I am just calm... maybe I will get that way when things are a bit more closer... but hey they are bloody close already.

Now let's talk about my heart... my heart is so torn.. actually wrote a poem about it... how can I can I feel so together but yet so distant... how can I love someone.. but yet still have feelings for someone else... ???? Is that life? I know u can be with someone you love and be attracted to someone else... that's normal right???!!! Well I won't let it worry my head too much... I am very much single and can do as I please... right??? hmmm ok if I am honest I cannot as there are other people involved and the best I can do is be honest about things...

Well.. tomorrow I am going to watch Charlie House perform that will def be a blessing and I managed more than 16 mins at the gym today wohooo!!!!!! I exercised for 40 mins or there abouts... I am getting better at this exercise thing.

Well.. likeI said when I opened this blog... It's not jus about music.. its about how I see things, right or wrong, and this is just for me and my madness... so remember what you read here stays here...as it's a small world and your blabber mouth might get me into trouble lol...

If you do come across this page and would like to share your thoughts and experiences with me do not be afraid to... that's if u can find my original blogging page that is.

Bless up and see ya real soon

KS x

Really Calm

2008-10-21T12:25:00.006+01:00

I have been feeling a sense of calmness... but yet I know that some serious decisions are being made for me and with me... I wonder maybe patience will prevail and what I think is in store for me... is not jus that but more... haha feel like I am talking in riddles.

Well illustrators that I am attempting to work with sucks...I aint asking for a freebie but I guess I will have to go to a company... It appears that when u get somewhere people say why didn’t u help the underdog? well it appears that they are too lazy and have no vision... you give people the opportunity to get involved from ground up and they work lazily and sluggish or not at all... why when I have gone so far so I give them the time of day... Ok that’s my little gripe. Biggup to Traid... I know he’s on point.

On the positive note... I will hopefully will be signing to management... now all I need is an agent... and signing to a major record label or big independent and I am on my way.

I have started writing with some serious home grown talent so will update you with that a sap.

Blessings and catch you on the dog and bone as my good friend Shanai would say.

Personally It's time to put me first

2008-10-20T21:48:00.000+01:00

Well not really having a moan but yet again I have put others first and suffered for it.. I feel that I am kind hearted person and would never directly hurt anyone but my honesty doesnt seem to be paying off.

I guess it's time to walk the walk... me first then comes my son, my family and the others can float around... always gotta give props to my close friends there 4 ever in their own way but Andrae Bentley is def the one who I will bend over backwards to biggup and help... got nuff belief in DON-e love him like cook food. supa soul brother del, man he is my calm in a whirlwind, jason jermaine is just jason jermaine, Jnay, never forget ur comfort in hard times... and david mensah my new friend... ahhh man i better biggup all the rest that I respect... there is XO man, Floriginul, Char Char (she got mad strength), Ash (remedy band), Drew Mclean (SLF) UK Soul of course (watch this space for more news on that) and mad aplogogies if I missed u out but there it goes

LIfe FM, Choice FM, Kiss, Smooth FM, SOLAR Radio and many more online and abroad thanks 4 supporting.

Well as you can see I naturally wanna help people it's in my nature so I will rise regardless and all those that are there for the ride.. truss I know that they will be with me at the finish.. blesss nuff

KS x

PS gotta love u too Charlie House watch out for this girl.. she is big xxc